Welcome

I'm Sheila, I wrote the School for Minions books and The Boy with 17 Senses.

That's nice, but why should I read them?
Book cover, Dr. Critchlore's School for Minions Book cover, Gorilla TacticsBook cover, Polar DistressBook cover, Twice Cursed

So... the books are about some guy who runs a minion training school? 

Not exactly. The main character is Runt Higgins.

Really? Are there a lot of monsters?

Yeah, there are a lot of monsters.
Cartoon drawing of two smiling boys talking to a mole person worker.
Cartoon drawing of Runt Higgins petting a large dragon.
Runt doesn't mind the monsters.
In fact, he loves his school. He loves his classmates.
Cartoon drawing of three kids peeking out from behind a bookcase. One of the kids looks like Frankenstein Jr.
Cartoon drawing of Runt Higgins being pinned by a large werewolf who is drooling on him.
Well...most of them.
Okay, but does anything exciting happen? 
Yes!

Actually, I can't remember it all. Let me guess what's happening in the pictures below, beautifully illustrated by Joe Sutphin.

Cartoon drawing of Runt Higgins in a library, holding out his necklace to show an angry group of monsters.
Hmmm...the kid with the necklace forgot his library card. You can't check out books with a necklace, dummy.
Cartoon Drawing of a woman facing a sitting Runt Higgins while holding his wrists.
Oh! They're playing that game where you try to slap the other person's hands before they pull them away! No...that's not right. She's touching him. That's cheating.
Cartoon drawing of Runt Higgins in a snowsuit, standing next to a giant sleeping monster and his sleeping friend.
It's monster nap time. The little guy can't decide who to wake up first.

Wake the monster last. Always last.
Cartoon drawing of a man holding Runt's arm while facing two giant leech-men. The leech-men are showing the man a piece of paper.
The giant leech guys have a hall pass, so they're free to go. The little guy does not. Busted! 
Cartoon drawing of two smiling boys talking to a mole person worker.
That's a mole person. The little guy just told a funny joke and the mole guy kinda liked it. If he hadn't, the little guy would be shredded into pieces, most likely.
Sounds great! Where can I get a copy?

Try these places:

Your local library
Hopefully
Indiebound
Support Local Bookstores!
Abrams
My publisher
Amazon
Easy
Barnes & Noble
Why not?

They are also available on Audible, narrated by the supremely talented Nate Begle!

Cartoon drawing of Nate Begle speaking into a microphone, covered with tiny characters from the books he's narrated.

That's Nate, drawn by Joe Sutphin and surrounded by characters he has narrated from both Dr. Critchlore's School for Minions and Word of Mouse, written by James Patterson and also illustrated by Joe Sutphin.

Audible
Try them, they're fun!

What about that other book you wrote? 

The Boy with 17 Senses is a retelling of Jack and the Beanstalk that takes place on a planet where everyone has...
The Boy with 17 Senses book cover, which shows a kid spinning through a wormhole.

Synesthesia

As a writer, I've always been fascinated by synesthesia because it is both a neurological condition, and a rhetorical device.
"Cleverly tol..." - School Library Journal.
"Compelling and memorable.." - Bulletin of the Center for Children's books. .
"Heart-wrenching, clever and satisfying.." - Booklist.
"This book is amazing!" - A Goodreads reviewer I don't even know!
"Cleverly tol..." - School Library Journal.
"Compelling and memorable.." - Bulletin of the Center for Children's books. .
"Heart-wrenching, clever and satisfying.." - Booklist.
"This book is amazing!" - A Goodreads reviewer I don't even know!

Synesthesia is a neurological condition where people experience more than one sense at a time.

Every numbers and letter has a unique color.
7s are blue, 3s are orange, for example.
Hearing
+
Seeing
Music makes swirls of color appear in the air.
And so many other types!
Everyone experiences it differently.
Smell
+
Touch
"Your perfume feels like smoothly sanded wood."
Hearing
+
Taste
"For me, the word 'squirm' tastes like burnt toast"
A picture of the human brain, with the different sections in bright colors.

Synesthesia is a rhetorical device that writers use to add flavor to their sentences. (See what I did there?)

Metaphor: Linking unrelated things, like using one sense to describe another.
Using flavor to describe a sensation
The bitter cold
Using touch to describe a sound
"Her voice was as smooth as honey."
Using color to describe sound
Her silver voice.
Using touch to describe a sound
"The soft silence of a mountain morning."
Using sound to describe a sight
"That's a loud shirt"
A cartoon headshot of William Shakespeare.

About Me

Coming soon.
As soon as I can think up something interesting to say.

Get in touch

Contact page

Design and content by Sheila Grau, head dork of the Dork Emporium*, 2021

This is my first Webflow site. I kept getting emails from designers asking if I wanted to hire them to redesign my website, and I thought, screw it, I'll do it myself. 5,000 YouTube tutorials later, here it is! I probably should have hired a professional, but oh well. I learned some stuff.

*Proud provider of dorks since 1982!

*Lottie animation by De Art Studio.

Thanks for visiting! Come back soon, I miss you already.